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EVEN MORE POETRY
By: Jennifer H. Wright
Okay, well I seem to be feeling this is the direction I should
be heading.The gods are pleased.
This is a good thing indeed.
So so so
I shall now go
I have told you of my many adventures
and of my pleasures..
of having met so many Agathodaimon.
It is now time to enter the darker aspects of my being and harsher side of reality I have known. Fear not though
my philosophy is thus if I can live through it I am stronger and if not I am just going to keep trying until things
do get better.
After this I plan on revealing more celebratory pieces and prayers.
Read what I write -
it is written from my heart.... to all of you
I have always known love to exist
I have always felt the opposing forces putting it at risk.
I would be a fool to assume that I understand it all.
It would be wise of thee to learn that when the greater love is full of hurt -
that is where the love is most at need.
Could love be motivated by greed or selfishness?
Or does it only spring forth from necessity and need?
Love is the most powerful force that there is to know
and even those of the darkness crave its soft carress...
Many times we are forced to put our love to test.
And each time we grow stronger...
But only if we are true may we feel and hear and see all of that of the light.
WE can have a cloud of darkness numbing us to what we desire...
What we all need is a cooling fire....
And in this wonderful purity may we share all that we know and learn from
others.
-
And may you understand why I must go....
I hope that I have loaned you a hand and shown you towards your own lights,
And know this that I have been burned by the flame...
I must cool and I must heal,
there is only so much room in my heart and only so much I can make others feel.
And now we part the ways but part of me will be loving you
from a distance that is close but not near enough to hurt...
a cooling flame is rising...
And understanding that deepens with time...
And it may be now you have all the pieces required
But you need another flame to spark your own fire...
He whom Stands Alone
By: Jennifer H. Wright
Standing by the sea is a man who holds prophecy
within his hands centuries that have been already planed.
Today he cuts himself off from all he was meant to be -
Spiritual suicide
now his soul hides
Be patient - give it time
but he knows time not to be a healer
He knows his own creation
it will not brake on its own
give him his power or just leave him alone.
Hope
examining that word you would think it meant something good
to me it is not all that should
Irony
that is something all to familiar and makes the most sense
Love
Hurts more the more it is true
Death
is what I do beside you............
I Am Grey
By: Jennifer H. Wright
The world I live in is dark ;
And I am grey .
Dull and unnoticed fading away .
My feelings drowning in sorrow ;
anxiety makes me fear tomorrow .
This misery I dwell in is the same that I created .
Though I may feel down today life has not defeated .
But in matters of love I feel cheated .
Your love is dark ;
And I am grey .
Your words of disappointment and mistrust pushing me away .
10/1/91
Brainwashed
By:Jennifer H. Wright
Massive clutter in the brain.
File cabinets containing memories all askew.
Forgetting all that I once knew.
Void of all pain and pleasure
Left with nothing from which I could measure
The quality of this life.
To view all with no eyes to see;
Feelings everything from my finger tips
Bleak and dark -
Void of loves first spark!
Containing nothing of imagery;
A blank page of poetry
I can not read.
My hunger I can not feed!!
How will I discover what once was?
Nothing speaks to me - all I hear is the laughter
raped my mind I shall never find what I am after.
Failure
By: Jennifer H. Wright
Shall I ever see a day pass without looks of disapproval?
Will I ever amount to what the world expects?
The more I apply myself the more I regret
to learn what I have done was nothing.
Every so often when I am feeling proud
someone is there to take away it all.. it seems I am not aloud.
What do you fucking want from me?
Why is it that I can not make you or keep you happy?
This all makes it harder upon myself
For never have I been truly content...
Your foul words fester within my heart
and I fear the stench is contempt.
After the tears have dried.. the salt leaves cement
hardened by the passage of time and overwhelming cruelty.
Ah yes... bitter am I...
a very silent loathing.......
Once and awhile it seeps out when the weight of it grows to heavy
and I begin to crack...
Yet again I was not good enough for you...
and you are on by back...
Hours upon hours I have wasted my time..
that you so readily would spend if I would let you have mine.
So I yield to thee this test...
I will do as thou requests...
I fear to guess.......
the outcome of this venture..
I am wounded... and looking for a cure.
so uncertain that is for sure..
I close the curtain on this act
for the next scene..
we shall see if you treat me kindly..
or if ye will be mean.
Let me out
By: Jennifer H. Wright
Most days I am content
I have not a care.
Everything is fine and just as it should be.
Sometimes I do not feel quite right.
A shadow hovering in the light.
Subtle at first
but are not most things?
I am being pulled down by thoughts
dragged around by fears
I am growing old before my time in my young years.
I have no escape only the river of my tears.
Longing to be free
trapped by misery.
I tried to tell you just how I feel but it it bounces right back to me.
You think I blame you
and in some ways I do.
I did not get here by myself but here is where I remain.
While you can run away
I am glued to my pain.
To an Old Friend Forgotten.
By: Jennifer Wright
To say we are one in the same t'would be a
BOLD faced lie.
Your eyes are on a prize
that is beyond my reach.
My life is set in morals that I could never teach.
But who am I to preach?
I am but a simple woman needing no more
than I can afford.
You dream of mansions and being a lady to some lord.
You are striving for a life of luxury
and I wonder if "all that" would really make you content.
(I thought you had sense...
Gods know where it went...)
I am not one to pass judgement
but I can not help but to have an opinion
such is human nature
Oh - Yes we both have a love of GREEN
but they are of opposite extremes.
And yet I wonder why it must be so ;
shall I pray to let you go
before my heart brakes even more?
seeing you again hath touched a place in my soul that make'th me sore.
How could it be that :
You care not for life?
You respect not anything that is not of your kind?
That you aspire for things that you never will find?
And understand me you do NOT!
So - I am happy with what I have be that such as it is
I am serene in my lot.
Does your life fulfill you?
Do you enjoy each day anew?
And know the beauty of the dawn?
Have you ever reached to go beyond all your petty niceties?
Somehow I think not...
This is the cause of my newly found sadness.
With a heavy heart I bid you good-bye into the night
Not knowing what to do with my cares
I was searching for something deep
that was not there.
Accept you that I will
uneasy at that forever still...
repulsed by your ills......
I am caught in the whirlwind
with no precept of what to do
with a friend I thought I once knew...
I do know we should not meet again.
So this may be the end.
Anger
By:Jennifer Wright
Struggling behind the unspoken words
is anger so profound its almost obsurd..
I can not help but to feel this way...
when you thought nothing of my feelings today.
Swelling and rising in the back of my throat...
boiling hotter with each passing thought...
Thanks to you this misery I have got...
Shall I smile and pretend it not to exist?
That could not be done..
Damnit I am not exaggerating in the slightest..
What the fuck were you thinking?
It would be so much easier if I could drown it out by drinking..
But alas nothing shall cure this ailment..
Save me for my final escape.
Dare you to try me some more?
Leave me more sorry and more torn than before.
Looking for someone to rip apart?
You found her.. it is I.. you have broken my heart..
I do not understand how careless you have been.
inviting problems to my reality
I see you now not as I would want to...
thinking nothing of me.. and only for you.
I can not shake these feelings be they real or imagined..
I for one would not have been so stupid or so selfish.
When all I ever thought about was "us"....
I pray these problems shall mend
and not crumble our relationship to dust.
Oh... why must I deal with this issues...
my eyes are cried dry and I am nearly out of tissues.
So I close them now and hope when I awake..
That perhaps all I see is blue...
and shove this down and swallow it like a woman..
for I can see no other choice..
What has been done can not be unmade..
So, I say good-bye to my warm sun
and enter into the cool shade......
Pencil Of A Poet
Written By: Jennifer H. Wright
My pencil hits the paper and my feelings escape;
telling my lives secrets and my FATE.
The longer I write... the more I shall weep '
The whispers in my hair reveal what I keep.
My heart understands what I see in my sleep.
My feet know when to run when darkness creeps......
My words they alarm my senses.... the way they modulate in rhyme.
*I* drift with creation I move with the time.
*i* become smaller before all became sublime.
My sorrow flows with my tears down to the earths dry surface.
The ground cracks and moistens momentarily in the crevice.
My saltine drops glisten in the sun as they evaporate back into the atmosphere
I am not alone many others are here...(pneumaton) - spirits
( They are carried on the wind:
In the breeze I hear the voices of celestial beings and feel the touch of many (pneumaton) - spirits
...(agathodaimon) the good spirits I like to know.
Some are among my ancestors from the distant past,
Others come from elsewhere...
The essence of my sorrow is then merged with other vapors to form a cloud.
I am now part of something greater than myself.. yet now my feelings seem
OBSOLETE... at least that is how they appear here... in this space of
nothingness... )
Now the cloud has collected its share it moves with the Zephyre across many
distance places...and many unknown lands...
In my vision I see a ghostly hand....
It makes nature stir across the hot dry sands where it falls now as rain.
May it one day return to remind me from whence it came...
--- fini 0
9ó Life Is. ò
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