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Knowing
By: Jennifer H. Wright
There is a saying that goes something along the lines of "Those who know - know, those whom
don't won't or can't." This is a very interesting concept to consider.
But what exactly does that mean? It does not exactly mean anything outside of what it says.
Most of my magick I perform I do so intuitively. I go with my feelings and perceptions of the reality I am experiencing.
It is enjoyable and that is probably the biggest reason I have always been drawn to mystical, mythical imagery
and art of all sorts.
There is another phrase I like that goes something like..." Like attracts like on the astral..." and
it continues on further, "opposites attract on the physical.."..
I believe this may be one of the reasons I have always been so involved in different artforms. Magick is also an
artform.. to me all forms of expression are art and therefor magick. Poetry is a very beautiful language as is
love and sex. They blend together like the sweetest honey that all wish to taste.
Speaking of honey, bees are quite beautiful animals, no? They are so useful to the environment, they live very
harmoniously with nature with their simple direct lives. They carry the pollen from flower to flower carrying the
seed at the will of creation. It is always interesting to watch them. Especially Bumble Bees. they are so fuzzy
and friendly sometimes they will land on ones finger and just stare ar you. I am allergic to some Bee Stings but
have never been stung by a Bumble.
Yeah I tend to ramble on about just about any subject matter if I find it interesting enough.... Over time I have
made quite a collection of drifting thoughts and ideas... I have many of them captured in text... So I thought
I would just post them at random here and hope someone might find them interesting or perhaps find it useful/helpful....
enjoy and leave feedback at O2kgoddess@yahoo.com
Zelia's Ramblings
With all the reading and research I had been doing I was concerned I was not paying as much attention to my spiritual work, but I had been feeling they have been guiding me all the way and giving me the strength to finish what is turning out to be a massive project. This page itself was to be on the
Greek Myths, Histories, and Mysteries
page but it has gotten far too lengthy and personal and continues in this vain..So here I present to you the inner
workings of my mind and life. And a bunch of other miscellaneous stuff as well.
"Shove me in the shallow water before I get too deep..."
Okay, before I continue I will give you some information about myself to give you and idea of whom I am.I have written an autobiography about myself, but as of present I decline from presenting it to the world wide web. Our BBS had it posted for a time. I would wish to go back and edit it and change a few things. Besides right now I would rather live in the present than the past. I have come to terms enough with my past that it would not hold me there. I suggest to all who wish to know themselves better and let go of those unresolved issues to write an auto-bio if only for yourself. It can be the best therapy. I think a lot of the problems society is facing today stem from that people do not know their own self worth and therefore can not truly appreciate others. We should all take a moment from each day to do a little something to pamper ourselves.True love starts from within; when it is there anything is possible. But do not do so in excess to love thyself in vain is but to die and to scorn the affections of others is an insult. As was the case for Narcissus as he rejected poor every lovely Echo who some say still calls out for his affections in hallowed caves and deep trenches. When he had shook of her advancements and had ran away from her he cried, " I will die before you ever lie with me". She pleaded " Lie with me.." But he had left her and she spent the rest of her life fading away for love and mortification till own her voice remained.!
At the start of all this "greekness" I did not have any real calling. It kind of took me by surprise.
I did not seek out the gods and goddesses, they came to me. People I know within the pagan community tell me it
is because I attracted their attention for natural abilities that I have. (Makes me wonder if they have books on
us or something similar as we do of them -grins- ) Personally I do not see anything that extraordinary about me,
I am humble. You know when it is your life and the way you experience it you can assume at times that everyone
is like you and feels and sees the world the same way. This is not altogether true because we all are unique and
have our talents and variety is the spice of life. Justly so, I have found that many pagans will say that they
can recall being younger and experiencing things but as they grew they learned much of the world was different
from them. So they either keep their mouths shut about it growing up, or they are an extreme target all of their
adolescence. Nothing that is worthwhile comes easy and overcoming our differences is what makes us stronger. If
others can not accept us as we are then it is their issue to work out for themselves. Or vice-versa. Conforming
in a spiritual sense to others conditions is virtually like death and kills a person of their true essence. People
and gods of any pantheon or religion need one another: they exchange gifts, love and power. And I would regret
it severely (as much as I may complain sometimes) if this life I know were to vanish. The gods do help those who
help themselves. I am a firm believer in personal power, and it is wrong to just ask the gods or anyone to just
give you anything. All that which we want to obtain or to fulfill our desires must be worked for. In the same breath
we should not always turn away help, and invite others who come in peace and love to partake in our rituals and
lives. Faeries and others can sometimes get offended or hurt if you don't. I primarily only work magick for positive
ends and never if it inflicts my will upon others if I can help it. Meaning I am opposed to those spells and methods
that would force someone to fall madly and passionately in love with you against their will. I am not however opposed
to a person using a rose quartz or other methods to draw love towards themselves. I do not follow any rede nor
do I consider myself Wiccan. It bothers me when people try to label me period and especially if they get it wrong.
Do not misunderstand me, I like Wiccans I just am not one of them. I like just about anyone no matter who whether
they religious or not if they have a good heart and wish to bring out the positives in life. They say optimism
will get you killed, but I think a little certainly does not hurt. Being too much of a pessimist in my opinion
is far worse.. but a little is good and is needed to balance everything out. No being is completely good nor is
any being wholly evil. As they say everything in moderation and in its time and place...The moon has a light and
a dark side, and so do we..
Here is an actual entry from, my Book of Shadows of a genuine example of receiving help from others and returning the` favor. If I was Christian I might say he was influenced by an angel or perhaps was none. But I am not, however I will not deny though that he was in tuned with something good - spirit or otherwise. One thing I do know for certain is he had a good heart and there was genuine concern within his eyes.
1-1-99
Today I accepted a gift from a stranger of $40. while I had overspent at the grocery mart. I was trying to figure
my way out of the mess I had created when a man appeared from nowhere and just handed me the money. I felt his
presence before I saw him and somehow I saw his face before I looked at it. I tried not to focus in on him. He
was an elderly man perhaps in his mid fifties or possibly early sixties. his hair was white and he was balding.
He was broad and tall and dressed casually. I am not sure why this occurrence has happened but I am glad it has.
Many questions I never asked before have entered my mind and caught my interest. Now as I write a candle burns
for him. I inscribed upon the candle " To: the Generous Stranger" I charged it with love and gratitude
and anointed it with rose oil and added a drop of patchouli for returned of green, loving, good earthly energy..
I anointed the wick as will with sandal for wish fulfillment, I wished for him wellness in mind, body and spirit.
I am hoping that he knows how grateful I am and how he has touched my life. I am glad that I did get a chance to
get a "thank you" out before he just vanished like he did.
that was the end of the entry
One thing that stands out that I remember is that before I left for the store I had placed patchouli on the money I was using at the store in a money spell I was working on. I also had florida water on my skin. Part of me did feel guilty in that sense and wondered if by that I inflicted my will onto this generous stranger. Power it is said is contagious or something like that. I would like to think this is not the case. That happening I feel was much more than meets the eye. He reminded me that there is still kindness and care in my fellow man. I had been failing to see the goodness in others. Not all people are selfish and self absorbed. It is just easy to forget when so many of us will not even look one another in the eye or exchange a friendly hello. In this sense this message met far more to me than escaping the total embarrassment of having gone over my limit shopping.
Tarot is one the best methods towards self help.. It makes you
see things as they are not as you would like them to be or imagine them to be. Instead of evading an issue or talking
it to death it gives one the opportunity to do something about it.
I have only been working with the cards since 1998. So expert I am not. But , I can tell you what I have found
to work for me that the books suggest as well. When you first get your deck keep them in a place where they will
absorb your energy to help you bond with them and personalize them. You can keep them under your pillow or by your
bed somewhere when you sleep. Some people like to wrap the cards with silk or other materials to protect them from
negative energy. I have mine wrapped in a few layers with personal items, that way the cards are in a sense always
close to my personal energy but keeping unwanted ones out. I suggest owning more than one deck to do readings for
others aside from my husbands/wives that way the cards do not get contaminated.
When people touch the cards with a formed question they get "charged" They impregnate the cards in sense
and then a reading results. When phrasing a question you want to make sure it is said in a way that is easily understood.
It is a good idea before approaching the cards to free yourself of any of the days problems and get focused just
as you would for meditation. Center yourself and keep that focus when shuffling the cards. There are many different
spreads one can do with the cards but when you are just learning it is a good idea to use the same spread each
time. It is also a good idea to cut the cards the same way each time as well. When you lay out the cards think
about each position and what it means for instance in the Celtic cross spread the first card is the present situation
the second a further description of this, the third card is the basis of the situation.. this can tell you whether
your question is based on stable or shaking sets of feelings and the circumstances. The forth card is based on
the past influences that have helped form what is going on. The fifth card is the public image or how the situation
appears. This tells you how it looks to you or the general public.. this may or may not be accurate. The sixth
card represents the future influences. The seventh card reveals your deep psychological reactions to the question
or what has not been revealed about the destiny involved in the issue. The eighth card deals with relationships
with other people and how they are effecting you and or the situation. The ninth card tells you your hidden hopes
and fears. It helps to see how positive or negative you are feeling about things. The tenth card is the final outcome.
It indicates how things are heading to turn out based on the past and present as it is now. If you change your
approach the final outcome will be changed, and then a new spread will be required. I also like drawing timing
and advice cards as well.
After you have laid out the cards flip one over at a time and do not draw any full conclusions until you have seen
the rest of the spread.. think about how they are connected to each other and what each card is trying to tell
you. The cards are more of a counseling tool than a foretelling kind. Treat them with respect and do not abuse
them by repeatedly asking the same questions in one sitting. Give it a few days or a week or so if you want to
see if things have changed. Write down your readings so you can see how accurate they are. Before looking up meanings
on the cards look at the pictures and see what it might mean to you first. This way you are learning to rely on
your own instincts and intuition. I have noticed that different books will give you contrary meanings to some of
the cards meaning they do not agree on the meanings so it is good to go with what feels right for each reading
because I think it depends on the situations or personal associations.. If upon doing a reading you wish to know
more about one of the cards or if you did not think you are understanding them you can ask a question about that
card, but remember do not try to test the tarot.
In general that is how one goes about doing a tarot reading.
Life Force
:At the moment the Greek Pantheon had entered my life I was quite comfortable with where I was or so I thought. I believed and still do that we all are part of the whole., What bonds us is this great life force that could never be deified for it is all things. I can feel it in all the life around me and within me and I feel a oneness with the universe and all of creation. It is the very pulse of creation, life and death and rebirth. Every thing and everyone surrounding us has its own energy and importance and there is a reason for everything.
I have spent much time since Aphrodite first appeared to me being close to the gods and at times traveling to places
with them. I have seen them in my dreams, and heard them in my thoughts. I interact with them. They are very real
to me. Of course to those who are not pagan or can not believe this possible - I may be viewed as a madwoman, but
that is to be expected. People fear what they do not know or understand. Or perhaps such feelings can not be avoided.
Any ways my final thoughts on this matter are: that modern pagans in many ways live out modern day myths that can
be and are every bit as fabulous as the ones written down in countless books and web pages.
Dreams
I can not exactly remember the first dream I have had sent to me from the Greek Pantheon, Or that was highly spiritual and prophetic in nature. I have been having them so frequently and for so long.. One reason for the increase as of late may be explainable by that one day out of necessity Zeus moved the astral form of our home to Mt. Olympus with the help of my husband and others.
I shall be telling you now in no particular order my dreams, how they have effected me and my interpretations of them. I will try to share with you as many as I can but it may be near impossible to tell you them all. First though I wish to say that to me dreams to me are in themselves in a their own special language that is specific for the dreamer. And yet they are kind of like tarot or using runes (dream themes/symbols if you will) which can appear in dreams as well. : With practice one can read their dreams with some accuracy, and this comes from ones own heart. The symbols themselves are important of course but in many cases it is the feeling the dream that should be focused on. One can use books on dreams as sort of guides for understanding the symbols of dreams if they wish, as for me I avoid them for I have found too many contradictions and I have little to no use for them. However do pay attention and look up about animal totems they can guide you in the dream and waking world. It does not hurt to do research on anything even if you do not agree with it so you have something to compare your own views and beliefs with. Keep a journal of your dreams and keep it by your bed. It is best to jot them down while they are fresh in your mind and part of you still is strongly connected to them. Recording them you will find how your dreams progress and be able to uncode them by seeing how they affect your waking world and your own person.
The animal forms and the like the gods do take is important and useful to know. Knowledge is power. However, I have found myself seeing things like when I would dream of owls without prior knowledge to knowing it was a form Athena takes but knew it was her. They let you know if not during the fact but afterwards when they were sending or in your dreams. Hardly ever will they be specific with you in dreams, they want to help us grow and find our own truths also they rather enjoy riddles. But they will however single to you when you have reached a suitable conclusion or understanding. Some times it is a physical sensation felt in the head that may tingle or throb but now always. Also if we are paying attention we will see something physical manifest itself to confirm our suspicions or questions to help guide us..
Dream With Artemis
Recently I was sent a dream by Artemis from which I was being chased by her and three dogs, I was running in my
own neighborhood away from my house. It seems to me given that she represents a huntress/gatherer and the setting
of the dream she may have been trying to tell me it was time for me to go back to work or get moving. She is the
type of person to remind us to be focused and to do what we need to do. This might have meant that I was being
lazy or distracted and might have something to do more with other kinds of work like spiritual or meditation..
The other explanation for this dream may be she is trying to tell us to move from our home. Which I think is big
issue. It is of great necessity that we relocate to a more secure location.
Also of note,
The morning after I had this dream I was walking my dog and passed a neighbors apartment whom has a rather large
dog they keep in a fenced in yard and the animal escaped barking at me. He was running right for me and then suddenly
stopped a few feet away from me and my dog. I was staring right at him and felt Artemis channeling her energy through
me and around me. It was one of those moments in life one feels like they are in some sacred space between worlds
that is not a dream and is not waking.
Date : Thursday Mar 18, 1999
I was running down a tunnel being chased by dogs. They were attacking each other to get at me.. I kept running
and people in the tunnel walking would look up and turn away that were also there. For some reason the dogs were
after me alone and in particular (it seemed). One grabs my neck and that was the end of that dream sequence which
led into another dream not quite as vivid as the this part.
A Dream with Prometheus
Date: Wed May 26, 1999
Before I had fallen asleep I had asked the Greek pantheon for a vision/dream. This is what I saw -
In the dream I saw a ape like human figure with a sort of yeti-ish appearance.
He spoke in a tongue that I could not understand. This was Prometheus. There raised beside him was a celestial
being whom translated what Prometheus was saying.
I was shown an ancient temple that was carved with many beautiful and splendid
images. Within the temple there was an altar, stained red. He was focused on
describing to me the images of a man and a woman that there was now something missing that no longer is there or
should have been. He spoke about the gift of fire. I saw many pillars of fire that then were put out on the ground.
Sometime after this is where I woke up.
When I awoke from this dream I was not feeling very well. I woke up and was physically ill. This I believe may
have been a side effect from the vision. Any ways enough about that...
Fortuna
1/20/99
There was a ancient Roman/Greek Goddess present in this dream known as either
Fortuna/Tyche. She is known as a goddess of fortune and fate. There was an
altar of some sort and upon it was a disc of fate or perhaps it was a wheel of
fortune or something like. It was spinning and I saw images
projecting off of it from within it's center. On each opposing side of the altar
there were two similar objects I can not recall what they were. I chose what
was in the middle of them. Then I hear noises of celebration and many magickal
musical instruments like the kind you hear at Eastern festivals.
The Madman
This is a dream I had about a "dream character" I label as the Madman I do not know his name nor did
I bother to ask...)
Any ways, in my dream I recall seeing a man out side hovering around the houses outside. He was balding and wearing
a trench. He had a rather small frame. He seemed as though he was walking slither like the way his knees bent and
he moved sideways/around.
He was on the doorstep of my neighbor whom turned the stranger away. He comes to my doorway. He is warning me of
something horrible that is coming. I nod at him trying not to let on that he is frightening me. In his trench he
has two items. Salt and water. I hurry towards the door fidgeting to open it as I dismiss him trying to send him
on his way..I close the door and lock it quickly.
The next morning I was compelled to draw a picture of the man I saw in my dreams.. One of his outrageous features
was the way his eyes bulged out of his head (kind of like that bad toon in Who Framed Roger Rabbit) One of the
sketches I did I put an arrow through his back.. I do not know why.. I ripped up the parchment .. It took me a
couple of days to remove the "mark/feel" that the dream had impressed upon me.
Cross Roads
Now this dream happened on 2/23/99 about a week or a few days after the dream about the creepy guy with the trench...
I could not find the entry in my book
of shadows so it was from my memory I told you about it.
Okay, In am walking down this country road. It is warm and there is much
foliage. It is like summer. With me I have my magick root ( A very
personal item I have acquired in real life I will have to post about) I am also
carrying a wooden like skull with a straw like stick protruding from its
forehead between its eyes. When I approach the end of the road it splits of
like the top of a letter T. There is a fence across the road and beyond that a
ocean lagoon. There are people swimming in it. I enter the water and swim
towards a shack. There are "honeymoon" candles outside and in the structure. I
had found one wrapped in felt under the bed in a room I was in. It was colored
silver. (I have never heard of such candles until the dream but I recognized
them)
Next I am sitting on the bed burning or smoking from the skull head (I am not
certain which I was doing) Someone enters the room and asks me what I am
doing in an accusing tone. I tell them that I was staining the wood by marking
it with the flame. I was trying to cover up what I was doing I think.
Next in the dream sequence immediately following that I was in a Catholic
altar room of sorts. There were statues and candles and stain-glass windows
and book shelves filled with text. There is heavy set elderly priest looking
person sitting behind a desk within the room. Upon the desk there is a rather
large book. The man was trying to get me to repent. I recall he was
reading scripture to me from Exudes. He was trying to convert me with his
forceful presence. I was getting upset, so he lays his hands upon my upper
back and neck and begins to rub me there. He then is trying another approach
trying to seduce me towards him and God whispering in my ear. It both
disgusted me and horrified me. I fled from him and the shack. I swim across
the lagoon back to the "T" shaped crossroad. I head back the way I came Upon
halfway down the road I come to realize I did not have the root with me. I
searched for it but to no avail it was not to be found.
Apocalypse
A couple of dreams I had in the year of 94 stand out so much that I have
bothered to remember them this long.
One of them there is this huge escalator rising up above the clouds.
There are many people riding it. When the reach the top they fall because it
leads to nowhere and then disappear. Watching from the sky above or near this are two great large eyes.
The other dream was a post apocalypse dream of sorts.. There is a red sky and
a barren wasteland with many zombie like people who look drawn, tired and
desperate.. there was a musical type lilt in the only thing they said... which
was, "The only way out is to find it..."
Ghostly Young Boy
Date: The May 20, 1999
I had an interesting dream earlier this week.
I dreamed I was in a wooded glen and saw a boy between the ages of nine and
eleven before a tree. He was wearing what appeared like an old fashioned hat
kind of jersyish in style and a vest. He just stared. His appearance was
almost transparent, very ghostly. Then I heard a shot gun off to the distance
and the boy simply disappeared.
It seemed very real at the time.. part of me feels that he was a spirit of
sorts and I recognize him but I do not know how.
Zelia the goddess?.
December 20, 1998
My dreams last night were filled with visions without words. I do not remember
all of them. Mostly they were of wild places. One of the visions I can recall
is that I was as a goddess creating a lush paradise full of plants and rivers and
falls and many exotic animals.
I had another dream with a silver animal right
after the dream of creation.. that was on the evening of December 20th 1998 . I had dreamed that I was down in
a
basement underground with this silver snake. The dream that led into this
one I had posted was the one where I was a goddess and I was creating a
paradise. There were many lit votive candles lighting the underground, mainly
upon the stairway leading upwards but there were also some on the floor. One
of the candle's flames had gotten out of control and had started a fire. I
spit on it to put it out. My saliva became a rushing flood of waters and a
A powerful gusty storm like wind blew.
Dream with Athena
There was a dream I had in February of 1998 that
had a great silvery
white great owl in it. I was running through the woods because there were
some local people hunting me down. I followed the owl to safety. (Hail Athena)!
The Alligator and the Hyena
The last week of March of 1999 sometime I dreamed that I was looking out a glass door and saw an Alligator moving
around in a swampy area not to far off from the building I was in. It made eye contact with me and came charging
at the glass door. I rushed to try to close the door but to no avail... I can not remember the outcome of the dream.
On March 31, 1999 I dreamed something similar - that there was a spotted animal I took for a Hyena trying to get
in through another door. He does but he is kin in my dream and a familiar of sorts.
Car Accident
Once I had dreamed my friend was in a car accident. Later that same week her
dog was hit with a car and died. Odd coincidence....
It does not happen frequently that I will dream like that. Lesser things
usually come of my visions.
I have a theory that in a dream state as we are not bound to the confines of
our waking reality that much of our natural psychic abilities are released.
During this time while in a lucid state it is or may be possible for one to
alter or perceive our waking world.
Lets Levitate
I will share an out of the ordinary dream I had with you. I often
dream that I can fly. I was dreaming that I was having a debate with couple
of young men about dream physics. They did not agree with what I was talking
about.. so I levitated myself up from my chair before them in a yoga like
posture. I did some gymnastics in the air and then faced them. They stared at
me in disbelief. They still would not believe that such a thing could be
possible.. I saw something to the effects of "Yet I can do these things, why
is this possible?"
The Willow and the Apple Tree
One of my most fondest dreams ever was this dream where I found my path.
I had dreamed that I was walking along an ancient grove of Willow trees that went on seemingly forever. when I reached the end of the path I was led to a most marvelous Apple tree.
A divinely inspired piece.....
Mon Dec 14 10:20:09 1998
Ode To Sir Cardinal and his Lady
By: Jennifer H. Wright
* Cardinal Spirit free to sing his songs
Cardinal spirit free in a world he belongs. *
Set his Spirit free
In a place meant for birds
Set his Spirit free
Allow him to be free
Where he was destined to be -
Eternally!
Empress whom holds him most dear
he enters with love - no trace of fear
I say good-bye with solemn face - solitary tear.
Set his Spirit free to a place he belongs
Set his Spirit free to sing his songs.
* Cardinal Spirit free to sing his songs
Cardinal Spirit free in a world he belongs. *
-------------------------------------------------------
This poem is very special to me because I wrote it after performing a burial ritual;
It was a very sad day for me when I paid my last respects. He was a friend to me and I loved to hear him sing.
When I saw him hurt I ached so badly to want to help him I almost lost my senses. I ran into the house to get something
to help him but he had flown away. I kept watching for him from my window. The trees across the street was where
the cardinal had flown. Later that day I found him flapping unable to fly off the ground and on the cold sidewalk.
I took him inside and went to get him some water and some food. Part of me felt guilty that I could not get to
him quicker and that he probably hurt himself by trying to get the food from our feeder in the first place. I wrapped
him and tried to soothe him and get him to take some water. He did receive water. Then I became hopeful. Unfortunately,
it was to no avail. The bird let out one last soft chirping noise then he died. Nothing I could do would bring
him back, so I decided I would send him "beyond" to his lord and his lady.
The words in the Cardinal Spirit were a song I sang. It opened the dimension into the realm of the birds. This
was one of the highest shaman/mystic voyage I had ever undertaken. It took me by surprise. I saw the cardinal deities,
it was very intense. I understood their secret language, but then again I have always been able to understand the
speech of birds since I was very young.
After the encounter there was a trend for the amount of bird burying I had to do for quite some time. Also of note
I can report seeing more ladybugs inside my home even thought it was in the winter they would just occasionally
appear.
This is a blessing that may or may not be related. I am just grateful.
+
The same night of the burial , I took out the flat slate stones given to me by Zeus? . They were already painted
all black from my magick with Hermes 13 days before. I then painted the runic symbols with red paint and placed
them down upon the pink paper to dry while I made the whole set. I then arranged them in a large circle I placed
my Olympian flame in its center. I used my sacred staff that I recieved from Gaea's holy trees for the first time.
I have specific details written in my book of shadows.. and some secrets are mine to keep. :)
Follow
By: Jennifer H. Wright
Follow your heart,
Follow your dreams..
Escape your miseries and lead thy way to the calm and serene..
Follow the night,
Follow the day..
Follow into the darkness,
And thy friend the light!
Let thy consciousness be thy guide..
Know Thy self
By: Jennifer H. Wright
"What is important in this life,
If only for yourself is to know thy self."
- Love thy self,
trust thy self,
intrust yourself to others who are loving and giving.
X
Ah, yes I know Poverty,
I have lived most of my life in despair and yet,
I have discovered the richest treasure from it all I have gained is: "True Wisdom comes from within!"
We failed to love and honor ethics
we lied to ourselves
Making truth blatenly decieved
And fabrication believed correct
